path_unprepared | (no subject)

(no subject)

There is a corridor lined with doors, all made of good solid wood and spaced a uniform width apart.

It is the sort of corridor that might give one vertigo if one tried to follow its length all the way down -- the spatial disorientation created by the rows of doors borders on unpleasant for both the eye and the brain. There is plainly a corner to turn at the far end, but it is difficult to judge precisely how far in the distance that corner is.

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Kaylee bows her head.
Footfalls echo in the memory
"They're home and they're family, all of 'em. And it's good havin' River on board -- good havin' somebody to talk to 'bout stuff, even if she don't always answer. But -- she scares me, with what she does. The fightin'. And...somethin' 'bout that girl she's engaged to -- what -- it ain't right, fightin' for somebody you're engaged to. Or to be engaged to her. And Simon -- "
Down the passage which we did not take

The rasp of metal on metal is very faint as the elevator continues its slow and, for the most part, steady descent.
o dark dark dark
A whisper of music, of voices entwined in a single line of unbroken notes, tugs at half-forgotten corners of memory.
they all go into the dark

A sigh; her voice softens.
Towards the door we never opened
"I know Simon worries about her, and he don't need to worry, because they're all they have. Just the two of 'em. And Mal could decide to put 'em off any day and then that'd be the end of 'em. And here's River doin' weird things, bein' a gunslinger and whatnot and gettin' engaged and bein' half crazy...it ain't right. It just ain't right."
Into the rose-garden. My words echo
The light flickers, bringing the insect into sharp relief.
Thus, in your mind.
"And River's the one who needs help, and they look at me like I'm the one who's gonna break -- but why couldn't I help? Why shouldn't I be the one to help this time? It ain't like anybody else sees it...and if this girl's out of the way, then -- then River can stop fightin', and Simon won't have to worry about her, and he can relax a little and be happier..."

A sudden ka-chunk, and the elevator shudders again.
descend lower, descend only
And still continues its inexorable descent.
into the world of perpetual solitude
The voice from above drifts through the intercom -- and yet perhaps not through the intercom, or through anything mechanical -- and sinks into her, permeating the crevices of back corners and the miniscule, thread-like cracks in the twisting corridors of Kaylee's memory, mind, heart, soul....
world not world, but that which is not world
'Deeper. Go...deeper.'
internal darkness, deprivation

A deep, shuddering sigh.
What might have been and what has been
"It's bad enough she's like that, and she wasn't before -- bad enough they did that to her -- but now she can't control it. And -- he doesn't think anybody sees how he looks at her sometimes, just hurtin' -- wonderin' what she's become -- and it. Ain't. Right. Not any of it. Not the gunslingers, not the 'verse endin', not that hē chùsheng zájiāo de zānghuò -- that purple-haired bitch who goes around just gettin' engaged to people, and makin' River fight more with nary a thought for Simon or anybody else!"
Point to one end, which is always present.

And the speed of descent has increased. And the descent itself is far smoother. Far, far smoother.
the only hope, or else despair
No squealing of metal on metal. No friction. Nothing standing in the way.
lies in the choice of pyre or pyre
The glass-enclosed frame on the wall holds a tiny larva.
to be redeemed from fire by fire

But to what purpose
"And -- and Mal's the gorram captain, and he doesn't see what's goin' on -- thinks it's okay -- and he just stomps around and yells whenever River does somethin' crazy, and then Simon starts yellin', and Mal punches him, and it don't make a lick of sense, none of it, 'cause Mal's the one with the gorram gun, Mal's the one who's the big damn war hero, and Mal's the one who won't do. The ruttin'. Job."
Disturbing the dust on a bowl of rose-leaves
Kaylee is breathing hard.
I do not know.

Faster.
people change, and smile: but the agony abides
Inside the frame, behind the glass, is a single solitary green leaf.
time the destroyer is time the preserver
And faster still.

Remembering speechlessly we seek the great forgotten language
"And all he can do with that gun of his is shoot stuff. Kill things. He don't ever fix things. And it's -- it's always like that. You shoot things and you kill 'em and there's nothin' left, and shootin' leads to more shootin' and more trouble -- you just gotta look at River for that, or hell, Mal himself, talkin' to me bout Inara and sayin' he has no idea how to talk to her, no idea how to act normal -- and gorram it if the gunslingers ain't the same way, expectin' to just charge in to the gorram Academy and blow the ruttin' place up, and what good's that gonna do anybody? Just gonna have more kids like River, all crazy and wantin' to use weapons and we ain't got no way to fix it."
the lost lane-end into heaven
Her fists clench and loosen, and clench again, trembling.
a stone, a leaf, an unfound door. Where? When?
"And -- it's Roland eggin' 'em on, bein' friends with River like he is, tellin' everybody that River's what he is, or can be -- wants to make her into a machine, doesn't want to fix her, not like Simon -- and oh god I want this to be over, I want it to end, I'm so scared and there just ain't anything I can do!"

And then --
and all shall be well and
(CRASH)
all manner of thing shall be well
-- the elevator hits the bottom.
when the tongues of flame are in-folded
Darkness, without a flicker of light.
into the crowned knot of fire
Silence, save for the sound of laboured, ragged breathing.
and the fire and the rose are one
And then there is light. Partial light, as a silhouette falls upon an overturned chair...and Kaylee, huddled in the corner.

She raises her head, slowly, so slowly --

-- there's light in his eyes, dancing --

"Who...who are you?" And she squints -- she can almost see --

"...Mikage?"

Ah. So she recognises him, even now.
kono kurobara ni kakete chikau
But by this point, xiăo mèimèi, there is nothing you can do about it.
kono kettou ni kachi
'I suppose you have no choice but to revolutionise the world.' So softly. So gently. A voice like the whisper of a match being struck, over and over again. 'The path before you has been prepared.'
bara no hanayome ni shi wo
And he smiles.

Something between a whimper and a sigh.

(You think you're all alone. Maybe I come down the chimney, Kaylee. Bring presents to the good girls and boys. Maybe not, though. Maybe I've always been here.)

Kaylee picks herself up, and, wondering, takes a step forward.

(The Captain's locked in his quarters. They all are. There's nobody can help you. Say it.)

She breathes; roses on the air, sweet and strong. His hand is there, waiting.

(I'm gonna give you a present. Get rid of a problem you've got. And I won't touch you in any wrong fashion, nor hurt you at all.)

She slips her hand into his.

(You throw a monkey wrench into my dealings in any way, your body is forfeit. Ain't nothing but a body to me.)

Mikage's hand is cold.

(You ever been raped?)

So cold.

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